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Jeremy Turkin — screenwriter — Page 3

D. Morris: check for smoke signals

December 28, 2010

Last night, my grandma received a startling phone call: her Tuesday Square Dance was cancelled this week. She immediately played the role of socialite, busted out her address book, and dialed the other members of her dance club. The only problem is, there was a new dancer yet to be counted for. Not one party […]

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Puppy impregnation threat: neutralized

December 10, 2010

I took my puppies, Samson and Scoop, to the vet to get neutered today. I tell you, they have no sense of humor… the vet, not the dogs. The dogs crack jokes all the time about it. Their jokes are C+ at best, but they get my pity chuckles, after all, I took away their […]

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$10 gets a dime bag of medical marijuana for 3 blind mice

December 7, 2010

The day after I was challenged by the domestically-challenged Israeli-American, I went to PetCo to buy dog food. I’m told it’s where the pets go, but I saw mostly people… unless the people were pets to other humans or large tyrannical mammals. No wonder it’s so hard to pick up a date there. At the […]

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Challenged by a Domestically-Challenged Israeli-American

December 7, 2010

Everything is so much more expensive in LA. Back home, homeless people just want your spare change. Out here… they want a piece of your soul. A couple weeks ago, a domestically-challenged American (the preferred nomenclature of the homeless), told me he needed $42. Wow! That’s a lot of dreidel! He accosted me the second […]

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Year 26, day 1

December 5, 2010

Okay, technically yesterday was day 1. But yesterday was my birthday, and I’ve never accomplished anything on my birthday. Up until 4th grade, all students were excused from homework on the night of their birth. Then when I turned 10, it all changed. Ms. Ripner, new to my school, laughed in our face. “Why would […]

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Eating Grasshoppers… they’re not bad

July 10, 2010

Bad news. I lost my Flip camera. No more videos for Jeremy (not that I posted any yet anyway). I left it on the plane (from the Island of Phuket to Bangkok), and I think one of the Orient Thai Airways employees picked it up. Sadness everywhere. I didn’t dump the videos from Phi Phi […]

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Tourist Time

July 10, 2010

We just did our first tourist-y adventure this whole trip. We took a tour of some of Phuket’s beautiful islands. The group of islands are known as Phi Phi Islands (pronounced pee-pee… which is funny, because on Thailand’s west coast, there is Pu island). First stop after the hour-long speedboat ride was at the beach […]

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Blank and Blank each blanked a blanked

July 5, 2010

I have spent the past four days as follows: breakfast, beach, burn, ocean sunset, supper, Scooby doo, sleep. And that’s a good four to six hours at the beach. Each day we can substitute Scooby doo with the World Cup or Fantastic 4 (the old 1970s cartoons) in Thai, or House, in Thai. Law and […]

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Emy was taken by a riptide.

July 5, 2010

Emy was caught in a riptide. She was pulled out to sea. We didn’t see the red “no swimming” sign. I was caught in the water too. I panicked. I saw her waving, but couldn’t do anything about it. I made it to shore with a struggle. I ran to find a life guard. None. […]

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Tales of an Asian Poindexter/James Franco Doppelganger

July 2, 2010

I went to a barber here in Phuket to get a haircut. It was more of an experiment to study, 1)      Can Thai people cut western hair? 2)       Can I get a good haircut despite a language barrier? In short, the answer to both is, “No.” But it was an adventure. Emy, the team artist, […]

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